“When a couple can talk openly about sex, when they avoid casting blame, and when they have an experimental or playful approach to trying new things, the chances are very very good that they will both be far more satisfied with sex than they were before.” – Dr. Harry Fisch
Ten Tips for Having Better Sex … and More Of It!
There are many things a man can do differently to improve his sex life, ranging from diet and exercise to paying better attention to his partner. Here are a few tips that have helped men take their sex lives to the next level … while helping them and their partners to be happier in their relationships at the same time.
- Just ask.
It may seem obvious, but this is one that many men overlook: Ask your partner what they like and what they don’t like during sex. Find out your partner’s favorite position and their expectations for frequency of having sex. (Sometimes a compromise is in order.) Following through on your partner’s wishes will likely pay off in pleasure for both of you. Also find out if something can be improved. For example, your partner may want more foreplay or need additional lubrication. If you’re nervous about asking, try getting the conversation going by suggesting that you try something different together. Once you have the conversation, have it again and again!
- Appreciate your partner. Compliment your partner on all parts of their body – how they look and how they taste. Genuine and enthusiastic compliments can go a long a way to make your partner feel confident, sexy and adventurous.
- Remember to touch. It’s been said before, but it’s worth repeating: While men are turned on by what they see, women are much more aroused by touch. Sensual touching releases a powerful sex hormone called oxytocin, which revs up a woman’s sex drive.
- Pay attention to the mood. Women are also turned on by emotionally relevant sexual stimulation, which can include everything from slow undressing to dimming the lights and talking dirty. Remember that foreplay starts in a woman’s brain, and that emotional connection and taking your time will generally help heat things up.
- Eat right. Make sure you eat high-protein and low-fat foods in moderation. In particular, look for foods that contain Arginine, such as oysters, fish and other lean proteins. Remember your greens and beans, as well as brightly colored fruits and vegetables. Steer clear of sugary drinks and processed foods. And avoid caffeine right before sex: Caffeine constricts your blood vessels, which can interfere with getting and maintaining an erection.
- Stay fit. Exercise helps your sex drive and, when you do it right, keeps you energetic. It can also lower stress and help you sleep better. Remember this general rule: The bigger the gut, the lower the testosterone level. If you have a gut and you want to boost your testosterone level, try lowering your carbs. Cut out the bread, pizza, pasta, cookies and cake. Also make sure you get plenty of sleep because nothing kills your sex drive faster than exhaustion.
- Keep the connection. If there’s emotional conflict going on between you and your partner, you need to work on that. Talk about it. If you’re having trouble talking about it, get help from a counselor or therapist.
- Enjoy yourself! If you’re stressed about intercourse being great, you may wind up worrying yourself out of an erection. Relax and try to stay in the moment.
- Check your meds. If you think you may have a physical or medical issue, talk to your doctor. Find out if your testosterone levels are low. If you’re on medication, you might be able to switch to a medication that has a different side-effect profile. Or you could try a medication that facilitates sex, such as an erection-enhancing pill or a product such as PREBOOST that helps you last longer.
- Find out your partner’s “love language.” According to Gary Chapman’s book The 5 Love Languages, people give and receive romantic love in five different ways: gifts, quality time, words of affirmation or compliments, acts of service, and physical touch. If you know your partner’s “style” of receiving love, and your partner knows yours, you’ll have a much closer connection that will likely carry over into your sex life.
- The New Naked: The Ultimate Sex Education for Grown-Ups (2014) by Harry Fisch, M.D.
- Size Matters: The Hard Facts About Male Sexuality that Every Woman Should Know (2008) by Harry Fisch, M.D.
- Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages